Friday, May 27, 2005

Episode VI - The Return of the Champ


Jedi York has returned to his home blog of White Poet Warlord in an attempt to rescue his friend Josh Duncan from the clutches of the vile Darth Lord Dopey-Wan Kenobi.

Little does York know that the GALATIC BLOGOSPHERE has secretly begun construction on a new armored blog system even more powerful than the first dreaded Death Blog.

When completed, this ultimate weapon will spell certain doom for the small band of rebels struggling to restore freedom to the Blogosphere....

In a dramatic and inspirational turn-about, Jedi York was able to thwart the efforts of the Darth Lord Dopey-Wan Kenobi and rescue his long lost friend, Josh Duncan. Obi-Wan Kenobi, Dopey's Uncle Ben, had once explained how Dopey had murdered Josh, from a certain point of view. Now, strong in the blogo-force, Jedi York was able to turn the once good Jedi Duncan from the darkside and re-transform Duncan from evil back to good.

The benevolence of Jedi York was evident, when having outsmarted Darth Lord Dopey-Wan Kenobi in a mismatch of posting skills, weakened Dopey-Wan's defenses and appealed to his inner good. In a touching moment, Jedi York tried to remove Dopey-Wan's mask (oops - he really is that gobblin-esque) and restore the good in Duncan, but had to settle for bludgeoning him with a bag of oranges until Dopey realized he should go back to being Duncan, if only for his own safety.

May the force be with you - ALWAYS.

© 2004-05 Olen York – All Rights Reserved

Episode V - Dopey-Wan Strikes Back

Dopey-Wan Strikes Back

It is a dark time for the Rebellion. Although the Death Blog has been destroyed by Jedi York, Imperial troops lead by Dopey-Wan Kenobi have driven the Rebel forces from their hidden blog base and pursued them across the Blogosphere.

Evading the dreadful Imperial Starfleet blog, a group of freedom fighters led by Jedi York has established a new secret blog base on a remote blog system.

The evil lord Darth Dopey-Wan Kenobi, obsessed with finding young York, has dispatched thousands of remote probes into the far reaches of the Blogosphere....

Proving time and again that he is truly master of the dark side, but not master of his domain, Dopey-Wan continues his merciless, dare I say defamatory, attack on yours truly. Dopey-Wan's efforts are intended to undermine the confidence that I have engendered from the Galactic Blogosphere, and to assume the reigns of power once I am disposed of. I fear that this plot will upset the balance and cloud the efforts of Jedi Bloggers everywhere.

Dopey-Wan's skill in lies and deception are confounded by the cherubic appearance and demeanor he exudes. If you are not afraid - YOU WILL BE!! Learn to resist his evilness.

Don't despair, the good side may have the final say ....

© 2004-05 Olen York – All Rights Reserved

Episode IV - A New Dope - Same As the Old Dope

A New Dope - Same As the Old Dope

It is a period of civil war. Rebel bloggers, striking from a hidden base, have won their first victory against the evil Galactic Blogosphere and its hidden ruler, Sith Lord Dopey-Wan Kenobi.

During the battle, Rebel blogger spies managed to steal secret plans to the Empire’s ultimate weapon, the Death Blog, a fortified blog site with enough power to destroy an entire blogger.

Pursued by the Empire’s sinister bloggers, Jedi York races to post from his blogship, custodian of the stolen plans that can save bloggers everywhere and restore freed to the Blogosphere....

DOPEY-WAN KENOBI has fired off yet another digusting diatribe smearing the name of your friendly Jedi Blogger. The Sith Lord Kenobi has brought chaos and fear to the Blogosphere. Dopey-Wan, in his typical cavalier fashion, authoritatively states:

The Jedi do not start wars.

I fear the Blogosphere is far too trusting of this Sith Lord masquerading as a Jedi Blogger. While it is true that Jedi do not start wars, it is also written (and true) that Jedi do not deceive for personal gain. Much like Chancellor Palpatine, Sith Lord Dopey-Wan Kenobi is feigning passivity, yet El Dopo fired a shot across my Corillean bow with the smear in referring to this blog as "that thing you call a blog". The condescension is dripping from his slack-jaw.

Much like Yoda, from October through April, I retreated to the sanctity of Dagobah to train and reflect, not to churn out meaningless drivel about dark chocolate M&M's or ... ok that is the only good example - but it speaks for itself (res ipsa loquitur).

In my training, I have become more powerful and wise, and a bigger threat to the Sith Lord's hegemony. I only hope that I have arrived in time to quell this evil uprising.

© 2004-05 Olen York – All Rights Reserved

Episode III - Revenge of the Chump


War! The Blogosphere is crumbling under attacks by the ruthless Sith Lord Dopey-Wan Kenobi. There are heroes on both sides. Evil is everywhere.

In a stunning move, the fiendish post leader, General I-Have-A-Grievance, in concert with Dopey-Wan Kenobi, has swept into the Blogosphere capital and hijacked control of the Blogosphere.

As the Separatist Bloggers try to besiege the Blogosphere, one Jedi Blogger leads a desperate mission to rescue the Blogosphere from the clutches of Dopey-Wan Kenobi....

Dopey-Wan is still assigning malice to innocent intentions and actions. The unmitigated hubris that Dopey-Wan detects is simply the reflection of himself in his oversized mirror. His narcissism will be his demise.

I, too, have been caught off guard - but no longer - the Blogging Jedi are on high alert and armed to destroy the evil Sith Lord Dopey-Wan Kenobi.

© 2004-05 Olen York – All Rights Reserved

Episode II - Attack of the Dope


There is unrest in the Galactic Blogosphere. Several thousand blogging systems have declared their intentions to leave the Blogosphere.

This separatist movement, under the leadership of the mysterious Count Dopey-Wan Kenobi, has made it difficult for the limited number of Jedi Bloggers to maintain peace and order in the Blogosphere.

Dopey-Wan Kenobi, the former Jedi Blogger, is returning the Blogosphere Congress to vote on the issue of creating a Blogging Overseer to undermine the Jedi Bloggers....

Once again, DOPEY-WAN KENOBI has hurled vicious and unsubstantiated charges at your favorite Jedi Blogger. At least Dopey-Wan properly identified that it was an "Attack On..."

There is much fear and anger in him - turn him from the darkside we must.

© 2004-05 Olen York – All Rights Reserved

Episode I - The Phantom Dope


Turmoil has engulfed the Galactic Blogosphere. The post frequency and content of outlying blogosphere systems is in dispute.

Hoping to resolve the matter with a blockade of deadly insults and embarrassment, the arrogant Content Federation has stopped all posting to the small system of Logician.

While the Congress of the Galactic Blogosphere endlessly debates this alarming chain of events, the Supreme Chancellor has secretly dispatched two Jedi Knights, including Dopey-Wan Kenobi, the guardians of peace and justice in the Blogosphere, to settle the posting conflict....

Having taken an innocent jab at DOPEY-WAN KENOBI, Master Dopey has now turned to the dark-side with his posting-saber and has sullied my character and reputation without cause. The Blogosphere Congress will not be pleased with his anger and jealousy.

Me thinks Master Dopey-Wan may be a Sith himself - always remember, to know what your enemy is up to, be mindful of what your enemey accuses you of.

© 2004-05 Olen York – All Rights Reserved

Second Week Box Office for ROTS?

If you are a statistics junkie like I am (baseball, music charts, box office numbers), then you may appreciate the fine work of the folks at Box Office Mojo. BOM tracks the box office figures for all movies released.

Through Wednesday, ROTS $191.4 million, and probably exceeded the $200 million barrier on Thursday (if the viewing trend continued). Just for fun, anyone wanna speculate on the second week box office figures (which is measure Mon. through Sun.)? The Mon. through Wed. total is $32.9 million. I would guess that ROTS generated another $8 million on Thursday, which would push the second week total to $40 million. I would also guess that ROTS will generate about $20 million per day Fri. through Sun., for a $60 million weekend, and a $100 million second week. I may be underestimating the weekend by some margin, too, considering that this is a holiday weekend. It would be great to see ROTS generate $80 or $90 million over the weekend, and push the second week total to $120 million or so.

For comparison, Box Office Report is forecasting ROTS as generating $73 million for the holiday weekend (Friday through Monday). Giving each day equal weight (arbitrarily), the Frid. through Sun. window would generate about $54 million, and would put the second week number at around $90 million.

For now, I will stick with around $100 million, and hope that I am underestimating.

I hope that this movie keeps its word of mouth momentum and replaces the dreadful "Titantic" at the top of the box office heap (non-adjusted dollars).

If anyone is out there, please leave a prediction in the comments. The winner will receive Republic Credits as his/her reward.

© 2004-05 Olen York – All Rights Reserved

TK-421 - Why Are You Not At Your Post?

The Lazy Logician is not manning his blog post - after busting my hump for months about my inactivity. I wonder if he's had a weapon's malfunction? Where are you, TK-421? Over.

© 2004-05 Olen York – All Rights Reserved

Thursday, May 26, 2005

I'm Not THIS Much of a Star Wars Geek

Egads!! Home-made light-sabers ain't like dustin' crops boy...oops, my apologies for that slip.

The Force--let alone common sense--was definitely not with them.

Two British Star Wars fans sustained critical injuries after constructing their own lightsabers from fluorescent light tubes filled with liquid fuel.

Great googily-moogily.

I hope these folks make a full and complete recovery, but even the suggestion of using flammable material in these home-made contraptions should have put one of the Jedi Knights on high alert.

To add insult to injury, the dynamic duo videotaped the light-saber clash for posterity. Do I sniff another "Star Wars Kid" in the making? Let's hope not, for everyone's sake.

© 2004-05 Olen York – All Rights Reserved

Second Viewing of Sith

I had the opportunity to catch "Revenge of the Sith" (ROTS) for a second time over the weekend. In short - still an awesome flick, and still in my top two.

I was struck by how much more sad I felt about the demise of the friendship / relationship between Obi-Wan and Anakin, as compared to my first viewing. Ewan McGregor gave a stellar performance throughout the film, and on occasion, had the hair on the back of my neck standing on end b/c of the authority in his voice (*thinking of the scene when Obi-Wan commands Anakin to release Padme from the chokehold*).

Ian McDiarmid is scary-excellent as Palpatine / Sidious / Emperor.

I have no doubt that I will probably see this movie another two or three times before the theatrical run is complete. My transformation to complete geek is nearly complete.

© 2004-05 Olen York – All Rights Reserved